he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
