That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
