I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I CAN MOONWALK!
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
