I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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