He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
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I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
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I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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