Screwed.edu
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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