What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
