all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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