The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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