I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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