half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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