The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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