how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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