They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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