So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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