Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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