the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
