So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
