Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
