omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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