do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
