Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize