I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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