i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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