Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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