It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
