I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
