that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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