craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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