just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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