Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
