I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
