So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize