the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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