I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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