I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize