MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
