I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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