I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize