I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
