remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
it's great music for shaving your balls
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?