We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
