I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.