Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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