come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
