I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
The best revenge is premature balding
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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