i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Randomize
