i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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