problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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