brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
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he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
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She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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