so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize