is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
