A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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