How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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