try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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