Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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