Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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