grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
