A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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