Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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