We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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