god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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